Tire Kicking By Estimate

Susan is out of town this week, so I get to have fun in answering the phone to "assist" the many, many tire kickers that call for free advice or request an estimate:

Me answering phone:  "Dan Turner!"

Him:  "I need some information for a new house that I want to buy here in Conyers.  It's about 70% complete."

Me:   "I see.  When do you plan to close?"

Him:  "I've not set up a date yet.  I'm still trying to decide if the costs are going to be more than I can afford to buy or borrow."

Me:   "Wise move.  Since you don't own the property, I'll need to get you to pay me up front for a site visit, measure and valuation."

Him:  "I beg your pardon?  You charge for giving me an estimate?  How much do you think your estimate will cost?"

Me:   "Well, we're both in Conyers so portal to portal drive time won't be much.  I can measure out and give you a valuation in about 2 days....hmmmmm....I think a $1000.00 will be a reasonable amount for this service."

Him:  "Really?  A thousand dollars?  That's kinda expensive for an estimate...isn't it?"

Me:   "You're right....I can probably do it cheaper.  Have you got the drawings for this house?"

Him:  "No."

Me:   "Well....a thousand dollars is about right."

Him:  "no way!!  I thought you guys just had a square foot price to bid on."

Me:   "We do!  How many square feet have you got?"

Him:  "I don't know."

Me:   "There you go....a $1000."

Him:  "err hmmmm....what if I don't like your estimate?  Or the cost to finish is more that I can afford to buy?"

Me:   "Welll....it would be the best $1000 you ever spent."

Him:  "I don't understand this at all.  I thought you guys did stuff like this....complimentary."

Me:   "Listen son, I appreciate what you have in mind to do.  And I appreciate your honesty...it saved me the online search to check ownership of the property that you have in mind."

"What we have is a call from you about a house that you don't own that is about 70% complete that you need an estimate to decide if you wish to buy it.  My problem is this....if I spend good time on your proposal and once I'm finished you choose not to buy the house...I've wasted about 2 days on someone elses land.  It's kinda a Catch 22, but you're asking me to consult with you on the purchase of the home...and just like any consultant, they have a billing for time spent working and doing what they do as a profession.  When I'm done, you have my numbers....and many, many, many, many, many times my numbers are shopped around with other contractors.   For my price, I give you a materials take off and quick sketch of the house and square area that you can pass around freely once you've paid for it up front and then delivered.  Pretty much in that order."

Him:  "I don't want a consultant, I want a builder to give me a price that I can take to the bank to get a mortgage."

Me:  "I see.  Well, my builder fee for site visit, measure and estimate would be $2000."

Him:  "&*(%*&*(#   >   slammed phone and sound of impact.

Ye olde saying that I always thought was sage advice dealing with male/female relationships still applies today:

"Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free."