Construction Job Site (mis) Management

I grew up in the trade.  (If you can call it growing up)

Every Summer, I had a job with my dad at any of the construction sites that he had underway.  Whether digging out a footing or putting the final mudding around the chimney tile (and untold number of houses with my initials facing skyward) it was always new part of the construction project.  I was very, very fortunate to grow up around guys that perfected their particular craft for decades.  With that familiarity of job and the personalities, it was a real joy to come to work most days when conditions were just right.

I can't say that I slept a lot on the job, but when I did have a chance to sit down or stretch out....like most of the guys there, it was snore city during the comfortable days while on break.  A lot of jokes (a WHOLE LOT) took place while any one of us snoozed during break....so dozing with one eye open was mandatory....at least most of the time. 

As I grew into the character of homebuilder, I got to pull...and be part of....many great job site pranks.  I was the easy going, lumber totin', six foot-five and half inches tall job boss that got into more fun as well as the butt of return fire-fun than I should have.  But...for the most part, construction guys lived by two things....common sense and humor.  Not necessarily good sense and good humor....but, still it made for great days with each crew that came and left each job.

One very mild Autumn day, I was on the site of a contract house that was being trimmed out for soffiting, fascia, frieze and a 4 run crown.  The masons left their scaffolding up on the front of this tall two story while they started the side walls with the idea that they would strike the scaffolding after the frieze was installed and they could finish that wall (they were working plumb lines to the brick box).  With superb coordination of materials and labor (Job ONE for any builder), I had the cornice crew ready to climb the scaffolding as soon as the masons finished up with the scratch joint (look it up yourself).

From that elevation and with the large overhang, the temp and breeze coming up the bluff...just hanging out with these guys sitting in a large circle window in the center was a treat.  My treat.  The compressors were humming in the background and the p-tooosh, p-toooosh, p-tooosh of the finishing nail air hammers were like a tune in my ear....with all that going on, I began to doze off.  One of the cornice-clowns walked by and jumped up and down on the plank board right next to me to startle me awake...which it did.   A quick jest about his family background and his retort about my big feet being in his way on the planks....all was well.  However, I did put both feet firmly down on the scaffold plank in the event I dozed off again so I wouldn't roll out of the window and tear down any new brick work if I took the short cut to the ground.

The sounds of finish carpentry work....voices calling down measures to the guy on the saw; the miter box and coping saws and the hum of compressor and soft whack of the finish nail guns...I was again passed out asleep in the semi-recline of the huge circle window.  I wasn't and am still not lazy, but it's a harsh life outdoors for many years....you take comfort when your rump and back tell you that you're comfortable.  Indeed....rump and back prevailed!  All materials were there.  The cornice & window subs were there.  Scaffolding (such as it was) was up while the brick masons took the day off while the cornice crews ran the brick boxing & frieze.

At least an hour later, I got a nudge from the crew boss....not a touch on the shoulder, but a touch on the head with a 12ft piece of 8 inch crown mould.  

Actually more like a "thunk".....

"Huh...wha?" was the only thing I could say intelligibly at the moment.  I was out for the count and needed time to recover!

"Bossman....we need some more 16ga casing nails."

"You're out already?  Yawwwwwwwnnnnn.....you guys take 20 and I'll go open up the shed to see what we have."

As I tried to sit up my feet felt like lead and thought I'd put them to sleep from sitting on the window stop (look it up!) in the circle window.  And then...I realized that my feet weren't moving and went into the panic mode as this was a dangerous place to be without legs.  But...my knees were twisting along with my ankles and my toes....and...... "wait a damnminute..........baaaastards!!"

While they were working over and around me....they had p-tooosh'd both boots to the scaffold plank board by toe-nailing the sole edges...and heels...into the top 2x10 scaffold plank.  Since I'd given them 20 minutes, they were all laughing, pointing and telling the rest of the crews about my situation sitting on the front/dead center of this size huge house.  Some of my best pals were down there yukking it up at my expense and misfortune...which was alright because to me..."Payback could be a Medevac" by me.

All in good fun.  Usually....however Inclusive of the gathering crew spectators....a DeKalb County building inspector that was showing up to let the house go for wallboard if it passed inspection had wandered into this fiasco.  I saw the guys jump on his truck before he got out....he was bent over at the waist laughing while the only thing I could do was untie my boots and slide out to walk around with him the inside of the house in my socks and stepping over pointy things.

I was fortunate that the same cornice clowns that had nailed my boots down were good guys enough to pry-bar them loose and remove the nails.  It was a nice gesture on their part.  Of course, it didn't save them from retaliation at another time/another house....but just part of the per diem that made for a very interesting and fun career in home building.